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Heterographic Homophones

different - writing - same - sounds

“I’m in a good mood today,’ he said. “This morning on the second tea I got a whole in won!”

“That’s nice to here,” she said, “but have I got a tail to tell you! . . . or have I already tolled you?”

“Know,” he replied, “you no I’m never board by your stories; you couldn’t boar me if you tried.”

“Well,” she said, “this morning I went out hoping to meat my night in shining armor. I decided to ware my mother’s two-carrot diamond necklace, the one I had appraised at the Bureau of Waits and Measures last year (it took forever), even though I thought people would probably stair at me. It’s an old family air-loom, although I heard that my grate-grandmother got it on sail originally from some diamond-cellar. She was nevertheless a really high-bread lady. As it turned out in the and, Mr. Write didn’t show up. That made me feel rather blew, thinking I mite end up an old made or maybe even take the vale some day, in spite of my passed history. Awl is fare in love and wore, they say, but as far as men are concerned I through in the towel long ago. I will knot continue to live my life this way. Besides, it looked like it might reign that knight, maybe even pore. Sew to lesson my frustration I went strait home and eight a hole bowl of my favorite serial, and followed it up with some chilly-con-carne to take the edge off the whether.”

“Ha!” he said. “Sun-of-a-gun! That stories won of your usual bear-faced lies, buy Jove, I’d steak my life on it! I bough to your inventiveness, though. But before such an expedition, you should planet better. Your two week-minded; paws a moment and think it threw. If you really wanted to look good, you shouldn’t ware those genes. I wouldn’t have warn that pear of shoes either; you don’t knead them. Don’t you have any gnu ones? And that belt around your waste! And fix up your hare! You should sea it, it would sleigh you! What a cite! I’d lichen it to a hoarse’s main. It wood make any man feint; no man wood merry you! Maybe you should go be a none after all.”

“But you don’t make me soar with your lies,” he added. “Your soul purpose is to impress others. Sew piece be upon you! Ewe go your weigh and aisle go mine.”


(5 July 2020. Thanks to Kate Baldwin for the idea.)

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